You know what...the thought dawns on me that...

...when you die--long before he dies, more probably and so hopefully--the world will be one less of a jerkoff.

You see, I know I can be a raging cunt--to those who deserve it. You? You're just a terribly-demeanored hot-tempered cunt who could never truly laugh at himself (and the jokes you make towards others around you aren't witty nor clever, but are spiteful and mean [and that's the truly sad part--you would be a nice guy if you weren't such a spitefully mean, envious and selfish* douchebag]). You thought we were making fun of you. You always think the world is out to get you (whether you consciously think so or not), so instead of reacting like a normal human being, you react explosively. You do this offline, but the online community's also had a taste of what you're like. Woohoo, you're kind and bending over backwards to old people through your job. It wouldn't be the first time that an utter waste of flesh held a steady people-related job well on the outside and had a whole other side to them otherwise (wasn't John Wayne Gacy a children's party clown?).

Man, I'm sorry that your former psychotic hubby abused you like he did. I really am. But that's still no excuse to be a raging bitch whenever the mood strikes (that being, whenever things don't go your way). And if that's the way you were before you even married that psycho (as implied by you yourself), then your personality probably didn't help his psychotic issues...and that's sad, because one should never feel like it's okay to blame the victim, even if the victim had a part in facilitating abuse.

I wrote what I wrote because otherwise it would've gone unrealized because you've got him so wrapped up in this relationship of yours that he's lost all sight of what he used to be before your stinking ass was shoved into his face and vice versa (again, that's my one true regret in my entire life, and that's saying something). I wish I had never been a meddling asshole and I wish I had never pushed you two together, because it changed him from a lively, free-thinking, do-what-he-could-who-gives-a-fuck-I'm-fat-and-I'm-proud-gimme-that-pudding-non-corporate-artist to a mindless corporate drone of an abused housewife (mentally speaking). He does what you want to lessen the amount of explosive tantrums--anyone would, in that situation. You have him happily trapped, because he's too nice, too blind and too insecure of a guy to leave you. "Marrying" him helped you put a lock on that.

And I wrote what I wrote when I wrote it because I sure as Hell didn't want to expose Chelle to anymore of your bullshit. I didn't want to endanger her life or mine each time we got into your car with you and you got pissed off at something random and started driving like everyone on the road was in YOUR way. Thank you, asshole, for putting everyone in the car at risk because you were pissed off. I can only hope and pray that your Outer Asshole doesn't some day get him killed. Chelle doesn't like the shit that she's seen you pull either, so I speak for her when I write all of this.

I wish I could blame you wholly for the destruction of mine and his best friendship, but we all had a role in it. Mine was perhaps the biggest, seeing that I'm the one who got you two together. But yours was the second biggest role in it, seeing that you couldn't stand to see us keep the relationship that we had whenever you were around (or even not around). Thank you, BTW, for making his life a living Hell during that time when you were deep-down satisfied that you'd caused a schism between us with that lying/manipulation that near-year that we weren't talking. Don't think that I don't know what you did when that was happening. It "surprised" you when I found the bullshit you wrote in your alternate diary, so you're really not as smart and secretive as you think you are (pathetic). His role is...well, he knows what his role is and doesn't want to do anything about it/doesn't want to grow up, be a man and put his foot down on your shitty behavior. You've succeeded in convincing him that putting up with your shit is worth more to him than proactively being the best friend that he was to me before (funny how "bros before hos" only applies when you're not the ho), so congrats on that.

So you won. You won, after all of your little pissy tantrums, your bitchy comments, your manipulation--you won! Doesn't it feel great to win? Sure would make a mother proud to see the kind of big man her little girl's become.

One day he just might grow up as well. You best watch out for that, because grown ups don't put up with the kind of bullshit you dole out. They grow up out of innocent blind eyes and start to see things for what they really are, not for how you've painted over them to be. G-d help you when that happens.

*Selfish as in you sure didn't want to share his brotherly love with anyone but yourself, though if it was just a problem with me, then you're just a fucking asshole who didn't and refused to comprehend the kind of relationship we did have.

EDIT, JUNE, 2008: P.P.S. If you really think that your celebration matters in the grand scope of things, your ego (and guilt that seems to make you think about us in the first place) is much more bloated than originally thought. But hey, whatever makes you feel good, right? Felt sooooooo good to finally be rid of two of those pesky "friends" of Dean's that he would've--G-d forbid--had to take time out of your precious totalitarian rule over his life. But hey, thanks for scaring the Hell of out Chelle during the times when we did hang out, too. Really appreciate that. Big man you are.

Oh irony towards the people who come commenting here randomly and off-topically. I probably should've turned off comments, LOL.

EDIT, JULY 2011: Opening this post again because it's true and even more ironic, as the asshole that I addressed this to was incapable of keeping my ex-best-friend happily sheltered in a house of their own because he was too stupid about his loan and his job (as if we didn't see all of this coming). Yeah, they lost their jobs and their house and had to move away to Mommy's (dickwad in this posts's mommy, not Dean's).

(no subject)

My patch is still better.

1. Mine's movie-perfect.

2. Mine does not have that stupid "TM"/trademark bullshit screwing up the design of the patch.

3. Mine does not have that stupid silver outline. They did this for all of the patches--they put a colored outline on them. That's not how they look on the school robes in the movie. Not at all.

They ALWAYS have to screw up the official merch, don't they.



I have but one post to make, as I will be curled up in a ball of emo-Potter-depression for months.

Not because the movie series is over.'ll be because of this:

#HP7 Pt. 2, ripping your heart out since 7/15/2011!  ( Severu... on Twitpic


Two giant "FUCK YOOOOOU!!!!11" birds from me to Kloves...for once, his additions/re-writes/modifications to the series added something valuable to this franchise.


Writer's Block: Following the leader

Let's say you're running for president, and you win by a mudslide. What would you change about your country and why? Would you make new laws? Paint the White House blue? Tell all!

Let's say you're running for president, and you win by a mudslide.

"i'm kyra/kj, your average lazy perfectionist, and procrastination, writing, and drawing are always on top of my to-dos.

i'm the weird, awkward, queit bookworm who has no friends inside of school."

Translation: I'm a fucking retarded product of today's educational system. I will be propped up by parents who don't give a shit and teachers who give even less of a shit, and I will remain illiterate for the rest of my life because of that. I'm the FUTURE, so you can count on me being an actual presidential candidate one day.



A quote from Zeke.

I posted this quote over at Facebook, but I think it fitting to repost here, given that this is the place to bitch about things.

I can hardly wait to finish this year’s Life Sci class of the retards from the bottomless pits of Hades. I should have taken a course from Dr. Frank N. Stein on how to transplant platypus brains into empty skulls.

In our last conversation, he told me that the colleges (any and all of them) are getting so desperate for students (because college is $$$) that they will accept anybody. At his school, where it USED to be that science geeks went to go get smarter, they're accepting people with a combined 700 SAT score.


After having taught at UMass for 30+ years, he's very far embittered by the sheer idiocy of today's youth and college kids. I don't blame him, because I see it every damned day myself.


This is to that one special person. Plus other thoughts.

This is an open post.

I'll try to keep it short. 99% of you reading this now will have to understand that this doesn't apply to you. I love *all* of my LJ friends. I don't love this person, and in fact...I fucking despise him. So here it is:

If he ever commits suicide, I will blame you. Of course, I would be shouldering the blame as well, since it's my fault that you're stuck together, but most of the blame belongs to you because you're such a fucking dick.

I can tell he's depressed. Gee, wonder why that could be?

But yeah. If he ends up dead by his own hand, the blame will mostly belong to your sad sack of a psycho ass who thinks he can become a novelist when he can't even fucking spell (neither of you can, but he's still young and have no excuse for your stupidity).


Ahh, that's better.


So what is everyone up to these days? It's almost a ghost town over here, save for my community activity. Me, I plan on finishing up some reading and likely proceeding with That Old Nano Project I conceived of about four years ago but only put in the research (before my old computer ate one of the chapters). *I* plan on turning that into a short fiction novel...hopefully it'll be good because I can spell.

House by ichthyosaur

Wow, what a complete idiot. Why did I friend this guy to begin with?

(he yelled that tea party people were "tea baggers" - i told him i didn't like the term as it was insulting - he went off on a rant about how he wasn't going to be "politically correct" for anyone - i deleted him.)

For the record, I did no "yelling" of the sort. I made a benign (or what I THOUGHT was a benign) comment that wasn't even targeting the Tea Partiers, but instead of referring to them as Tea Partiers, I referred to them as Tea Baggers. Lil' Miss Bitch came back with a tart and snide comment about how he wasn't going to reply to "such puerility"/me being insulting, after which I inquired how I was being insulting--to which he replied that *he* was not insulted, but that using the term "Tea Bagger" was insulting.


And it was after that that I told him that I would not play tippy-toe around-in-an-eggshelled-Politically Correct gameroom with anyone, and that policing language is something that both the far right and the far left are most adept at, though I emphasized that it's a lefty thing to be politically correct. I guess that must've really pissed him off (A neocon being called leftist! Oh noez!), to which he then deleted me without partaking in the *actual* conversation about the topic at hand...which really had no bearing on whether I referred to Tea Partiers as Tea Baggers, Tea Fuckers, Mr. T Fuckers or Crazy Racist Scumbag Fuckwads (Note: Not all Tea Partiers are Crazy Racist Scumbag Fuckwads*, but some are, which is why I can't align myself with them).

And to go off on how his poor sig o left him/likening what happened to such in his life...well. That's just creepy, and shows that someone's got issues. Really, really deep issues.

Thus ends a benign political alliance, via the Crazy that came out of one party because I "didn't insult him, but used an insulting term" (because, yanno, "Tea Baggers" is on par with the n-word, r-word and f-word [f-word in gay terminology, not "fuck"]). Forget what I really had to say about whateverthefuckitwas (I sincerely forget what the topic was)--let's focus on the use of "Tea Baggers"!


*It's not the traditional type of racism that disturbs me about the movement. It's kind of hard for me to explain, but ever since the inception of the Tea Party, I just couldn't get with them. After the election, I couldn't stomach anything to do with politics, so I avoided it like the plague. As it is right now, I am in my Happy Medium Space where it seems like very few want to be in--it's either all the way to the damned left or all the way to the damned right. I prefer to be in a place that is rational and more importantly, fair. It's not quite fair to throw hissies over a fellow's terminology; in fact, by letting someone be open and honest, you will learn a lot about their positions/standpoints. I.e., you can either think that I think very little of Tea Partiers in general if I refer to them as "Tea Baggers", OR you can think that I don't give a crap about how they are referenced (or, in another scenario, you could think that I'm using it wryly/sardonically). I sure as Hell don't give a crap what you say about whomever it is you're talking about; if someone is using the term "faggot" or "n*gger" over and over again, I take in the context and then make my judgments afterwards. For future reference.


Writer's Block: Mystery meat

What is the most disgusting food you have ever eaten? What made it so gross?

Probably the durian fruit.

If I wanted to eat something that tasted like slimy, sweaty ass, I'd eat a slimy, sweaty ass.

Apparently the people who raised me love the taste of slimy, sweaty assfruit, too. They ordered the durian flavored gelato last time we were in Chinatown. I nearly puked in the parlor when I tried to have a taste (I'd eaten the actual fruit before because my mother's an asshole and buys that shit whenever she wants to annoy me).